Just keep going

The most useful, vague but valuable advice there is. When you're panting, sweltering and fantasising about collapsing into a pool of icy water half way through your run. When you have another two thousand words to dream up to finish your mind numbing, tedious essay on French politics. When you've been dieting for six weeks but have yet to loose that stubborn stone which hugs your hips like a needy child not letting go. It can be the most annoying advice to hear; of course you should keep going, but you just don't flaming want to! 

Today I hit a brick wall (metaphorically of course), I was moaning about work,fed up of internship hunting, and had a severe case of writers block.  Bad combination. All I wanted to do was to spend the morning lazing in the sun (which I continue to be amazed is still here and hasn't gone into hiding again). I compromised and took my work outside with me. In true English fashion I developed strawberry pink shoulders and wonky T-shirt tan lines. Yet somehow, between intermittent groans and sipping on the most delightful coconut bounty smoothie I've ever tasted, I managed to finish my work and tick off my never ending to do list. 

I'll keep this one short and sweet so you can get on with your own to do list (which I'm almost certain you have).  Whenever you feel like giving up, remind yourself of the reasons why you're doing whatever you're doing. Re motivate yourself; visualise yourself at the finish line, handing in your essay, a trim size 10.  If you're writing like me, don't over think it (something I'm totally guilty of)! Most of all just keep going... And if you happen to venture to Biggleswade (which is probably never going to happen) try a bounty coconut milkshake, they're amazing!

Leave your phone at home

Remember when there was only one computer at home and you had to sacrifice the telephone to use it? Remember when you rang people from your home phone, arranged to meet them, and just had to be patient when they were late?  My cousins wont, they were born into the age of technology, they grew up with mobile phones for toys, and they never experienced that awful dial up noise of the internet getting warmed up. But you remember it right?

Nowadays having no tablet makes you behind the times, having no computer makes people question how you continue your day to day life, and having no mobile makes people question your sanity. 

I'm sat here with my iPad in lap, phone in pocket, and mac by my side, exasperating at how over faced with technology I am. It's madness to think that fourteen years ago I would have had none of the above. In fact I would have to wait a whole year until I would be presented with my first, extendable aerial, giant plastic button, kilogram brick of a phone. That trusty Motorola hunk would bulge through my school blazer pocket, awkward and indiscreet, but I loved it! And it seems my love affair with technology has continued to develop.  When I first got my iPad i took it everywhere; to the shops, the gym, the bathroom (true separation anxiety). My sister's suggestion to leave it in the car when we went shopping made me physically sick. This is how I know I'll be a hideously protective mother (I apologise in advance to my future childminders and yet to be conceived children). 

So upon highlighting the difference, I began to wonder, is this surge of technology good or bad? We can now video call family and friends on the other side of the world, share photos, articles and videos at the click of a button, we can even promote ourselves to stardom uploading videos to Youtube. Of course technology is incredible, but it also makes us distracted and dependable.  This was exemplified perfectly yesterday when I failed to navigate my way to a nearby village because my Google maps lost signal, despite having the road signs right in front of me. I noticed how our phones and gadgets have us staring at screens instead of observing the world around us. 

When did my notepad become an app rather than a pad of paper? When did a tablet stop being a paracetamol? When did apple and blackberry become more associated with phones than pies? The world is changing so quickly it's hard to keep up, just remember to look up from your screens every now and then and take a look at the world we constantly instagram (It's pretty amazing even without Brannan and Valencia settings)! Enjoy the thrill of technology, but every now and then have a break from candy crush and go take a walk outside, and leave your phone at home.

The trouble with being a people pleaser- Learn how to say NO

It’s a lovely quality, to put others first, but being a loyal people pleaser can sometimes be detrimental to your own well being. There is a fine line between being a lovely, selfless person, and sacrificing your own happiness to succumb to the needs of others. Do you hate the NO word? Perhaps it’s time to learn how to be a bit selfish from time to time.

My fear of the NO word got so ridiculous that at one stage when my friend’s dad asked if I wanted a slice of cake I said ‘erm, I’m ok thank you’.  He raised an eyebrow; ‘so what does that mean..yes or no?’.  It was at that point that I realised how much I struggled to say it. I don’t know why, but ‘no’ felt like a rejection (which is ridiculous as I’m sure he would have been grateful for me not snaffling his cake).

So do you people please too much? There is a mountain of work to complete but your colleague has troubles at home so you tackle it alone. You’re shattered after a hard core week of work, household chores, and trips to the doctors but you said you would drive two hours to meet your friend (and hate it when people bail), so you sacrifice your day off to help her babysit. You are an angel, and we love you, but remember that you matter too.

Sure, help out colleagues, friends, family, I’m all for going the extra mile to make people smile, but include yourself as one of those people. If you’re getting stressed with taking on the extra load, tell someone, and let someone else please you for a while (insert rude joke here). Give yourself a break, and when you’re asked ‘do you mind doing...’ do not feel bad about saying no. If you desperately want a night in to recuperate instead of filling in for the missing player in your friend’s football team, just say no and let them nag someone else (trust me you’re not the only people pleaser in their phone book). The thing is, people say no to you all the time, sure sometimes it really annoys you, but most of the time you hardly notice, you just accept it and move on. So if your crumbling under the weight of your angel people pleasing wings, take them off a while and be your own guardian angel, remember you’re only human.